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Why It's Worth IT!
Friday, January 28, 2011
There have been so many people that have put me down, told me ďyouíd never be anythingĒ, ďyouíre nothing special,Ē told me that there was nothing remarkable about me and that I had nothing to look forward to.

I have always been the butt of jokes.

Iíve come so fucking far.
Iím so fucking proud of myself.

And I know that this job is not the end-all-be-all. I donít expect it to be. But donít expect me to half-ass it either. Iím determined to succeed even in the force of the people who have always doubted me.

Iím going somewhere.
Iím being somebody.

Iíve made sacrifices in the past 10 weeks that Iím not proud of. But itís my job and I need to get this shit done so I can have a paycheck every two weeks. Am I proud of it? Fuck no. But it gets me that much closer to the right door.

I feel like everyone here is just Ö too happy with what they have going on now.
Like, happy to just go to the same places and get wasted night after night and fuck all of the same people and shmooze with all of the same faces. Happy to go back to their boring jobs and accept their minimum wage hours and wake up every day doing the same goddamn thing. Complacent with the idea that if they lived here and did the same thing every day for the rest of their lives, that theyíd be fine with that.

And thatís just. Not. Me.
Iím not that person at all.

I see more for myself than that.

I have bigger dreams.

I know that I am 100% capable of achieving more with this. I donít want to waste it in this fucking dead-end town where opportunity comes to die. I want to get out there and make something of myself and show the world what I can do.

I donít want to waste my life.

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