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Less is More
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
How pathetic am I, still running in circles?

Piece by piece, I removed myself from the world of the living in hopes that it might finally make me happy. But it hasn't. Not in the least bit. In fact, I'd say I'm more miserable than ever, but I'm pretty sure that misery is one of those monotonous feelings that never varies in degree, only accumulates upon itself, tightening its grip.

I have never really been happy. I can't remember one single point in my life that I have experienced being so. Sure I've seen it in bits and pieces, but I have not once experienced true, prolonged, unadulterated happiness. And the one thing I thought would change it all for the better has only exacerbated everything that is and always has been wrong. Perhaps that let down in itself was enough to kill the last part of me that was holding out for something bigger or better or what have you.

I don't belong here. And the thing is, as I watch the people I grew up with go on and live their lives like normal people should, happy and healthy and productive, I can't seem to pull myself out of this horrible rut no matter what I try. I'm stuck here in this place that feels like a prison. This body that acts as a cage. This life I dread waking up to.

I want out.

Recommended by 3 Members
Dilated Silver-dot- little-b
5 Comments.


Yes you belong here, the question is can you make it out of your box or will you be trapped there for enternity. Welcome to nutang by the way. :)
» ryan444123 on 2006-10-31 03:22:21

Welcome to NuTang
Wow, your writing is great, but you seem a bit unhappy. You should go trick or treating and purloin some chocolates.
» dave on 2006-10-31 04:05:02

Welcome
I understand the feeling. You don't know where to go and don't want to go anywhere...it doesnt seem real and yet it is.
But ryan's right--this is one place you'll belong. ^-^ See you around!
» Silver-dot- on 2006-10-31 05:13:06

Why chocolates when I can devour in alcoholic beverages?


» mademZ on 2006-10-31 05:24:32

Good times
This entry fits halloween perfectly, what with its connotations of depression and apathy.
» Dilated on 2006-10-31 06:01:18

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